ETInvasion: At Least I'm Not an Orange...

Are You Stronger Than A Dog?

2008-04-23T02:51:00.000-07:00

So my roomies and me were sitting down the other day and discussing crazy ways to make money. We had a pretty interesting conversation about if we would fight certain animals for money. We decided that one of the hardest things to fight would be a grizzly bear. We also decided that to make it fair, the bear would be de-clawed and wearing a muzzle. You would get to wear boxing gloves and you had to last for 15 minutes in a 15x15 room. If you win, then you got about $1,000. So, what you have to ask your self, is if you would be willing to do this. If not, you could always fight something week like a dog!

"So can I like, punch the bear?"

"I would encourage it, thats why we are giving you boxing gloves. But on that note, I will also encourage the bear to punch you back."

Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse

2007-09-08T16:54:00.001-07:00

I just got done reading the first collected edition of the brilliant Ben Templesmith's disturbingly hilarious zombie comic, Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse. It's filled with great characters like a lady's man, corpse possessing maggot, his clockwork bodyguard which he describes as a "shotgun-enthusiast" and a host of other crazy characters that turn the stomach and tickle the funny bone. I highly encourage anyone looking for something interesting and new to read to pick this up immediately. Only $20 at your local Barnes & Noble.

"Oh, now this is lovely. Just lovely. Do we actually have a body, or did a slushy machine just have an orgasm?"

"Bodies, sir. One over there... chained up... the other is over there, and err, there... and there... and there... and... there..."

~ Wormwood: Gentleman Corpse ~ Birds, Bees, Blood & Beer

Able To Place In The Refrigirator

2007-09-06T13:52:00.000-07:00

I went to go see Incubus in Dallas over the labor day holiday, and they were awesome. If you get the chance, you should go see one of their shows.
Also, I have come up with enough comic book story concepts to last me for two years.

So, I was sitting in my friend Jenna's office the other day and started thinking about how you would say that something is able to be put in the refrigirator. We say something is mirowaveable if you are able to put it in the microwave, so does that word ending apply to things in the refrigirator? Yes it does. "The turkey is refrigiratable." This reminded me of something Dimitri Martin was singing about ~ "We got a lot of people that say that they are chocohlics, but I ain't never met no chocohol. We got and epidemic here! People that love chocolate but don't understand how to use word endings." He later went on to sing ~ "A child's toy can quickly become an adult toy. Location! Location! Location!"

"What do you call a black guy that can fly a plane?"

"I don't know. What?"

"A pilot you racist fuck!"

Lets Start In The Middle

2007-09-04T17:29:00.000-07:00

I am gonna start my blog off in the present day and time and add some new stuff every now and again, as well as slowly work backwards to see where I went crazy. So, a little about me, I am a dude who wants to do nothing more with his life than write (and maybe draw) comic books and own/run a popcorn shop. Some people might find what I write down from time to time a little strange and they will be like "At least I'm not as crazy as this guy..." and I'll be like, "At least I'm not as crazy as a guy in a mental institution..." and that guy will be like, "At least I'm not an orange!"

"Did you know chimpanzees are ten times stronger than humans?"

"What!? How can they be that strong,... they don't even work out!"